Accepting What Will Always Be
by cyanidesunshine
Summary: Zero’s parents make him go to a school for children with special powers. But Zero can’t even accept himself. How does he deal with a whole school of people like him? Sort of ZeroxYuki, KanamexZero eventually.
1. Prologue: The Beginning

Prologue: The Beginning

/

It all happened so fast, I never really knew what was happening until it was over and the damage was done. My brother was lying in my arms, struggling for breath. And all I could do was tremble and look down at him. He was dying. There was nothing I could do.

I was so young at the time. Ichiru and I had just turned eight a few weeks ago. I knew he was dying, but it never really sunk in how final death was. Until it was too late.

"It'll be OK, Ichiru, I promise. Just hold on. I'll go get mom and dad!" I started to put him down but he grabbed onto the front of my shirt. "Don't… leave…" was all he could manage to croak out as he clutched at me with blood stained fingers.

I nodded. I knew I should have left and got help. But that hopeless, scared look in his eyes just wouldn't let me leave. He started coughing then. I held him tighter.

My parents found us there, sitting on the ground a while later. Ichiru was just barely breathing and I was running my hands through his hair and whispering things to him that I hoped sounded soothing.

My father took Ichiru out of my arms. Everything was a blur after that. I barely even registered my mother gently pulling me up and leading me into the house. I remembered the red lights of an ambulance shining through the window. And my mother holding me back when I tried to run out of the house to go after it. I didn't want Ichiru to be alone.

My parents took me to see him a week later. They told me not to be scared when I saw him. That he was peaceful now. He looked peaceful. But he wasn't smiling, and I knew he couldn't be happy. Wherever he was, he was there alone.

The nurse told me that I should talk to him, that he might hear me and make him try harder to come back to us, before she asked my parents if they could speak with her outside. I sat by his bedside and held his hand while they talked.

I looked down at him, and despite his peacefully exterior, it was like I could see him screaming at me, anyone, to help him. Like he was trapped in the dark, alone, clawing his way to the surface but failing miserably.

"I'll save you, Ichiru," I whispered to him. I didn't know how, but I knew it then that I _could_ save him. I reached my hand up and brushed the hair out of his face, then cupped his cheek. "I'll save you. I promise."

I'm not sure what happened then. I remember the hand on Ichiru's face getting warm. It started to burn, and I wanted to pull away, or scream, or do anything to make that unbearable pain go away. And then nothing.

Two days later I woke up in a hospital bed. A nurse was in the room fiddling with the machine above my head when I opened my eyes. She didn't notice at first, not until I asked her what happened.

I was released from the hospital that day. None of the doctors could find a reason to keep me. They had no idea why I passed out, and every time the subject of Ichiru or my stay at the hospital, they would get quiet.

Somehow I knew what they were scared of. They knew what I did. Even I wasn't sure _how _I did it, nevertheless, we all knew that I brought Ichiru back.

Ichiru lived, thanks in no small part to me. The nurse had told my parents that day that Ichiru would die, and if he lived, he would have brain damage and never be the same. It would be a miracle if he woke up at all. But there he was, walking around, his normal self again as if he was just in the hospital for some routine blood work.

I think that was when my life ended. I wasn't aware of it then, and wouldn't be for a few years. I was just happy that I had Ichiru again. I had brought back the most important person in my life, but it had its price.

/

AU ahoy! I actually enjoy writing AU's. Putting other people's characters into different situations that they could never get into in the actual story. Fun fun! I really wanted to make this from an omniscient pov, but yeah. It's in Zero's instead. Because I rock at first person. Anyway, hope you enjoyed the first chapter. Next chapter will have spoilers. And I'm hoping it'll be longer. This is just the prologue, m'pretties! But I've never been known to write super long chapters.

One last thing: If anyone wants to be my beta, I would love you forever! I would give you Oreo's and ice cream in the flavor of your choice.


	2. Learn to Accept Yourself

The stuff in italics is a flashback. Thought that could be useful to know.

Chapter 2: Learn to Accept Yourself

/

_I had decided in sixth grade that I hated school. Not so much because I hate the homework, or having to sit in class all day like most kids my age. I usually had my homework done before I got home, anyway. And sitting in class gave me time to sit in my own little world and think._

_No, what I hated about school were those times when there was no class. The times when I had to deal with the other students._

_It had gotten out that I was different when I was about eleven. After the incident in the hospital, nothing happened for a long time. My parents started forgetting about it after a while. But I always knew that… __**thing**__, whatever it was, was still in me. I could feel it simmering under the surface, waiting to be released. When I helped set the table dinner and my mother would cut herself making the food, it would scream at me to let it out. Or when Ichiru tripped on the sidewalk and scraped his knee, it would be almost unbearable. But I held it back. I ignored it to the best of my ability._

_I always knew the day would come where it would take over. I knew I couldn't hold out forever. It was like the__** thing**__ was laughing at me every time I pushed it down. It knew I wasn't strong enough, and one day I would have to let it do its thing._

_That day came during gym class in sixth grade. I wasn't really paying attention when it happened. I had finished running the laps we were to run that day and I was sitting on the bleachers staring off into space when I sensed that __**thing**__ again. I tried my hardest to ignore it as usual, but it was actually starting to physically hurt. A few seconds later I realized what the problem was. _

_A girl in the class had been running her laps and tripped. The class was starting to gather around her and I tried to keep my distance, I really did, but it was like that __**thing**__ was pulling me over to the scene._

_Only when I got closer did I realize how much damage was done. She had hit her head hard on the ground and I could see a small spot of red in her blonde hair. I felt like I was going to be sick, although I wasn't sure if it was because of the blood or that I was losing the battle with that __**thing**__._

_It kept pulling me forward inch by inch, and I fought the best I could, but finally gave in. It wasn't like my power was such a horrible thing, after all. And she could clearly use my help. I made my way through the crowd as the teacher lifted the girl off of the ground and kneeled beside her. I could feel eyes on me, but I didn't care. That feeling was getting so intense the closer I got to her that I didn't care about anything but getting rid of it._

_I laid my hand on her head and that burning feeling started in my hand. The girl looked up at me with large eyes. She looked terrified, but I kept on. And then I passed out again._

_This time I couldn't have been out too long. I woke up in the nurse's office with Ichiru sitting by the side of the bed. _

"_You're awake! What happened?" I just shrugged. I still wasn't really sure what happened. When I didn't answer, Ichiru's face took on a much grimmer look. "Akiko was saying some weird stuff. Did you…" Once again I didn't answer him. I was too panicked to speak. That was what I had feared all along. People would find out about this power of mine and freak out. It didn't bother me so much if the rest of the school was afraid of me, but I didn't think I could live if Ichiru was too._

_He must have seen the fear on my face because he squeezed my hand. "It's OK. Whatever you did… It's not so bad. She's not hurt, Zero. Whatever you did made her head heal."_

"_What is everyone else saying?"_

_He looked away from my face, down to our hands, and I groaned._

"Hey, you! Freak boy!"

I was shaken out of my daydreaming by the voice of Sato Yoichi. I rolled my eyes even though I had my back to him and he couldn't see. I didn't feel like dealing with him. Of course sitting silently and trying your hardest to ignore the idiots shouting names at you isn't always easy. And it gets even harder when said idiot slaps you in the back of your head while you're trying to eat your lunch.

I turned to him and gave him the worst glare I could muster. A few girls nearby shrunk away from my general vicinity, but Yiochi didn't budge.

"Are you deaf, freak boy? I'm talking to you."

"I hear you. You'd _have_ to be deaf to not hear your mouth clear across campus."

Admittedly, I deserved the punch in the face I got for that. Not that I didn't mean what I said. I sat stunned for a second after my head reeled back from the punch. But only a second. Then I was up from my seat, punching him in the jaw, and I'm pretty sure I heard something crack.

Yoichi glared daggers at me then lunged.

"Zero! STOP IT!" I could feel Ichiru's hands on my arm trying to pull me off of Yoichi.

"Get the hell out of this, Ichiri!"

"No! You stop!"

I wasn't paying too close attention to where exactly he was standing when I pulled back for the next punch, but I certainly did feel my elbow connect with something. I whirled around to see Ichiru holding his stomach, doubled over. I dropped Yoichi, who I had by the collar of his shirt, to the ground and put my hands on Ichiru's shoulders.

"I'm sorry! Are you OK?"

Ichiru nodded and looked up at me from his doubled over position. "Just stop, please?"

I nodded. "Yeah, sure. Let's get to the nurse." I took one look back at Yiochi to make sure that he wasn't coming after me again anytime soon, then put my arm around Ichiru's shoulder to support him on the way to the nurse's office.

/

I was sent home early that day. My mother picked me up and glared up at my reflection in the rearview every few seconds as if she thought I would jump out of the car or something. I finally decided I didn't feel like seeing that look and turned my head toward my window.

Once we got in the house, I ran to my room and flopped onto my bed. My mother was there in a few minutes.

"Zero, what is going on? That's the third fight this year."

"I'm just getting sick of sitting by and letting people treat me like a freak."

"It's worth getting expelled over?"

"Well, maybe it would be better if I didn't go to school. I'm sure no one there would give a shit!"

"Watch your language! And yes, there is at least one person who will care."

I felt like a complete jerk then. Ichiru would still be in school. Sure, he had his friends, but we always hung out at lunch and walked to and from school together. We had almost all of the same classes. Who would sit and pass notes with him now that I wouldn't be there?

My mother sighed and sat on the bed beside me. "Look, I know this is hard—"

"No, you have no idea. How could you?"

She nodded, putting her hand on my shoulder. "You're right. I don't really understand. But you have to get past this. This might be something you'll have the rest of your life. Not everyone will accept you. But you have to accept yourself, Zero. Or else you won't be able to live with yourself."

I nodded, because there really wasn't anything I could say to that.

My mother got up when there was a knock on the door. I flopped onto my back to wallow some more. My mother walked back into my room. "Zero, there's someone here to see you."

I sat up and gave her a questioning look. A man poked his head out from behind my mother. He looked all sunshine and rainbows and I was considering beating him away from my mother if he didn't back off. "Is that him? Is it?"

"Sir! It's very rude to come up here without being invited."

He at least had the decency to look sheepish. "So sorry. It's just that I've been looking forward to meeting Zero. Is that him?"

"Yes, that's him. Zero, this is Cross Kaien."

He nudged his way into the room and held his hand out in front of me with a huge grin on his face. "Chairman of Cross Academy for Gifted Children."

**/**

**Thanks to 00mrdragon00, glozinga, and angelthewriter for the comments! Made. My. Day.**

**I SUCK at choosing Japanese names. ARGH! Yeah, I googled Japanese names and picked stuff at random. Well, OK, Yiochi means masculine first son. And my Yiochi is a bully. See? It wasn't random! But Akiko just sounded nice :D **

**I also suck at action/fight scenes. Which is why they'll be to a minimum. It'll be hard considering that I'm keeping all of the night class's powers. Oh gods, those powers just beg for action scenes.**


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